It took me ever so long to FULLY trust the Lord. Is it that just being human makes us want to be in total control of our life?? Giving up that control is hard to do. We think that the decisions that we make will make a difference with the inevitable. When I first married my husband he was constantly threatening to pack his clothes and leave. It worked for him because I would beg him not to leave. Not realizing it for a long time... he was a controller. He did things like that to get his way. He did a lot of pouting and fit throwing through out our marriage. It was either his way... or the highway. After about 10 years my thoughts were... you may as well leave now as do it when you are 50 years old. Even though I said that to myself... I still did not give God total control of my life. I was still trying to solve my own problems.